Dealing with Dorming Dilemmas

Going to college is a new and exciting experience, but there are some issues that every student living on-campus will have to deal with. Learning to live with someone new is definitely at the top of that list, because everyone has a certain way of doing things. In order to make transitions from home more comfortable, there are certain precautions that students can take.

• First of all, most schools have different dorms to satisfy different students’ wants and needs. You should get information about each in order to find out which best suits you. Going with whatever dorm they assign you can cause a lot of issues once you move in.


• Get informed about your dorm's rules and regulations before you get there. Don't just assume you can bring everything that will make you feel more at home.


• Get to know your roommates beforehand. Try to find out about them, what they like and dislike, to make sure the match will work out before you move in.


• You no longer have a "maid" (mother) to take care of your laundry and food; therefore, you will need to set responsibilities. For example, one person agrees to clean the bathroom as long as the other person will keep the kitchen clean; or you will alternate grocery buying every week. (These responsibilities will vary depending on how much space you have.)


• Everyone needs to have boundaries. Even if you're dorming with your best friend, you will need to set space and personal boundaries. No one likes a "snoop" or a "space hog". Also, let your roomies know what they can borrow and what's "hands-off". The more communication the better.

Even when you "lay down the law" problems are bound to come up. Miscommunication is usually the cause of most dorming problems; that's why you must make responsibilities and boundaries clear to one another from the beginning. One college grad shares a good example of how roommates can miscommunicate:

When Allison went to college, a bunch of girls decided to get a house together. They were all friends, and it seemed everything would work out fine. One of the girl's parents paid for all of her share, and this is where the problem began. Because she didn't have to pay for anything, she wanted to get the best of everything. She wanted the heat on high when it was cold, the best food brands, the best toiletries, etc. Of course, because everyone's "sharing,” she wants everyone else to pay an equal share of everything she "needs.” Since everyone else was paying for their own school and living expenses, they obviously couldn't afford everything she wanted.

Now that we have the problem, there are a few different ways to deal with it.

1. They could tell her to find somewhere else to live, because they can't afford her high priced "necessities".


2. They could sit down with her and explain how they feel about the situation; figure out a reasonable compromise.


3. They could complain amongst themselves about how ridiculous she is.

In Allison’s situation, they utilized the second solution by talking with her about the problem. They made it clear to her they could not afford to spend like she wanted to, and they came to the understanding that she would buy non-necessities on her one, while they continued to share the responsibility of buying all house necessities.

What do you think they should've done?

If you are, or ever have been, in a situation like this one, or if you have any additional tips or comments about dorming, feel free to leave us a comment!

Emily Martin, Intern at
The Business Shrink: Understanding the psychology of business and money.